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Top Ten Sweets

Oh man. Candy. Sweets. Delectables. There are so many different kinds of awesome sugary choices that this is going to be a tough list to fill – and chances are good I’m going to be very, very hungry by the end of it. What a tough life we writers lead.

– Licorice. No, not that nasty black stuff that tastes like the bottom of somebody’s foot, but the red twizzlers that you’d sneak in to a movie theater up the arms of your coat. Licorice is delightfully tasty and not too sweet in the bargain, thus doing away with any subsequent feelings of guilt over eating it. And it comes in so many different forms, too! Nibs, anyone?

– Ice cream sandwich. Ooooh sweet Gandhi, I love these things. I don’t mind those composed of chocolate chip cookies, but MOST of my affections fly out to vanilla ice cream between two thick Oreo slices. So soft, so creamy, so good, and so bad for your brain if you eat too quickly.

– Cookies and cream ice cream. This stuff is BASICALLY the same as the ice cream sandwich I ranted about above. But what can I say? The general taste of Oreos always has my mouth watering for more, and whenever I visit a buffet with this stuff I usually go back for seconds. And thirds. And, uh, actually as a I kid I ended up making myself sick by making at least eight visits to the ice cream stand. It’s so GOOD!

– Y’know what, better get it over with. Oreo cookies. I can’t deny it any longer. This is possibly my favorite brand of cookie, second only perhaps to something that will appear in a moment. Not only are Oreos delicious and come in a variety of different flavors, but they’re fun, too: there aren’t many other cookies you can have fun with, twisting the top off and playing with the delicious cream within.

– Empire cookies. These are the cream of the crop of the cookie world. A thin layer of jam nestled between two shortbread wafers, topped by vanilla icing and a cheery? Divinity in cookie form! Even the worst made empire cookies top most other dessert items on my list.

– Boston cream donuts. I’m sure most people would probably choose those Krispy Creme monstrosities over a boston cream, but not me. I still remember my first encounter with one, brought home by my grandmother: in one voracious bite I covered my face with delightful, dripping custard and flaking chocolate. Might be the messiest donut, but I don’t mind if it tastes this good.

– Lindt chocolates. There may be better chocolate brands out there, but if going for one means displacing Lindt then I’d rather not know of them. Lindt chocolates, short lived though they may be in the mouth of a greedy eater, melt so soothingly and deliciously that I can’t help but love ’em. Whenever I get a box of these for some special occasion they don’t survive very long.

– Toffee. It may be horribly difficulty to eat at times, but chewing on toffee is one of my great joys in life. It’s one of few candies that make you feel as though you’re working out while you’re having a good time.

– Swedish berries. These little bundles of joy are dangerously cheap and abominably good. I could eat an entire barrel of swedish berries in a single go, and though I’d probably die afterward, at least I’d ascend to the afterlife a happy, happy man.

– Ice cream cake. Whenever I have a dessert item ice cream always ends up a staple, and so my final favorite must invariably include a hearty dose of the stuff. I always request an ice cream cake whenever a cake is insisted upon for my birthday, and whether it’s homemade or bought from a store I always love the end result.

As predicted, I’m now very, very hungry. Pardon me, I need to make a trip to Dairy Queen.